When You Have To Grow Up Too Soon

I wrote this post a while back and just decided to post it...

Today was Mother's Day, and I was reminded throughout the day how difficult this holiday used to be for me. Honestly, it still stings a little. Often times as children we are given the opportunity at school, church or where ever to create a Mother's Day card. We're encouraged to thank mom for her many sacrifices and for a job well done.

But how do you do this when you have a mother that does not effectively play this role in your life. This card can really place a child in a difficult situation emotionally if their mother is an alcoholic, because truth be told she hasn't earned it. If anything the child is the one that deserves the card. After all who is the one taking care of the rest of the kids when mom is out at the bar, passed out drunk, or in jail? Who is the one breaking up the physical fights among the parents?

I was the oldest in my household. So, this burden fell upon me. I can actually remember one Mother's Day finding my dad passed out on the kitchen floor with the phone off the hook laying next to his head. I tried to wake him, but the smell of alcohol told the story. I hung up the phone and went back to my parent's room to find my mother, but she wasn't there. It was getting closer to the time to meet up with my grandparents, and I was left with an unconscious father and a missing mother.

Long story short I decided to ignore the problem at hand, and make my little brother breakfast. Eventually, I received a phone call from my extremely frustrated mother explaining that she was in jail. She wanted to talk to dad, but he wouldn't wake up. I found myself once again wearing shoes that were too big for me. I was a child handling adult affairs.

When in a situation like this you are quickly forced into the parent role. You have no choice but to take care of others and make difficult decisions. There is a bizarre role reversal that occurs when you are taking care of your drunk parents, and you just go into a survival mode.

If I were to make an honest Mother's Day card today it would read as "Mom, you robbed me of being a kid. I really wish that you had done a better job." Sure, it might sound a little harsh, but it's the truth. Fortunately, I had friends with some amazing moms that I was able to look to for nurturing and love. I'm sure that there were many days that I appreciated my friend's moms more than they did themselves.