Ephesians 6:10-18

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

This piece of scripture reminds me that there is another spiritual realm out there that I so often forget about or that I don't take seriously enough. The devil is at work, and so often I leave my house not fully equipped by wearing my armor. Just when I would like to think that I have it all together the enemy humbles me and brings me to my knees. I can't help but thinking to myself, "If only I had been fully dressed in my armor I could of stood strong in my faith."

The thought of spiritual warfare can become overwhelming at times, and I can easily feel that I have no chance of standing firm against the devil. But then I'm reminded of Matthew 16:18 which states "On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it" God has given us the Holy Spirit to find our strength in until the return of Christ. We are in a temporary situation that there will be an end to.

Seek God and find forgiveness in Him. Daily put on your armor so that you will not fall into the devil's traps. Learn from your mistakes and live through the Spirit so that you may have a happy fulfilled life. Be sure to surround yourself with others that wear the same armor as you do.

Please take a moment right now to spend with God. Allow the Spirit to speak to you and follow His leading. Know that God wants the best for you, and He will provide the healing, forgiveness and encouragement that you need. Please go in peace today, but be reminded that the enemy is out there wanting to pull you further away from God and His peace.

When You Have To Grow Up Too Soon

I wrote this post a while back and just decided to post it...

Today was Mother's Day, and I was reminded throughout the day how difficult this holiday used to be for me. Honestly, it still stings a little. Often times as children we are given the opportunity at school, church or where ever to create a Mother's Day card. We're encouraged to thank mom for her many sacrifices and for a job well done.

But how do you do this when you have a mother that does not effectively play this role in your life. This card can really place a child in a difficult situation emotionally if their mother is an alcoholic, because truth be told she hasn't earned it. If anything the child is the one that deserves the card. After all who is the one taking care of the rest of the kids when mom is out at the bar, passed out drunk, or in jail? Who is the one breaking up the physical fights among the parents?

I was the oldest in my household. So, this burden fell upon me. I can actually remember one Mother's Day finding my dad passed out on the kitchen floor with the phone off the hook laying next to his head. I tried to wake him, but the smell of alcohol told the story. I hung up the phone and went back to my parent's room to find my mother, but she wasn't there. It was getting closer to the time to meet up with my grandparents, and I was left with an unconscious father and a missing mother.

Long story short I decided to ignore the problem at hand, and make my little brother breakfast. Eventually, I received a phone call from my extremely frustrated mother explaining that she was in jail. She wanted to talk to dad, but he wouldn't wake up. I found myself once again wearing shoes that were too big for me. I was a child handling adult affairs.

When in a situation like this you are quickly forced into the parent role. You have no choice but to take care of others and make difficult decisions. There is a bizarre role reversal that occurs when you are taking care of your drunk parents, and you just go into a survival mode.

If I were to make an honest Mother's Day card today it would read as "Mom, you robbed me of being a kid. I really wish that you had done a better job." Sure, it might sound a little harsh, but it's the truth. Fortunately, I had friends with some amazing moms that I was able to look to for nurturing and love. I'm sure that there were many days that I appreciated my friend's moms more than they did themselves.

No One Said That Life Would Be Easy

A common struggle that children and teens face within homes fueled by alcohol, abuse and drugs is suicide. For years I struggled with low self esteem and questioning my self worth. I found myself believing these lies from the devil, "If my own parents do not find value within my existence and cannot love me, then who else could possibly? No one will ever love me. No one will miss me, right? There's no point to my life."

There appeared to be no escape from my home life, and I just wanted out. I struggled to find hope, and often times I lacked the faith that God could deliver me from this miserable situation. I wanted a quick easy out to escape my life of sorrows and hurt. My parents' actions and words left me feeling empty, hollow, and all alone.

Luckily, during these dark times God strategically placed people in my life to deliver His truth. The truth that God has a plan for my life, and that He will use our lows to minister to others and to glorify Him. The truth that I was created by God, and God doesn't make junk. The truth that God thinks I'm tough enough to endure this, because He will never give me more than I can handle. The truth that there is a Father in heaven that will always love me unconditionally, and I can find my value in Him. The truth that God uses our trials to mold us and shape our character.

If you are hurting and struggling to find your purpose in life today. I want you to know that God is big enough to get you through this! Present your burdens to God today, and ask Him to take them from you. Ask God to give you the strength, hope, support, and love that you are so desperately craving. Then share with someone what you are going through, and ask them to pray over you. You are not alone, and do not allow the enemy to lead you to believe so.

Lord, I pray for those that are struggling with finding their self worth and purpose in life. I pray for the lonely and broken hearted. Touch them right now with your healing hands, and remind them that you are there with them. Give them a vision of what their life could look like in the future and give them hope. Provide them safe people to share their struggles with and to encourage them. Please provide a hedge of protection around them right now. Thank you for hearing our prayers and answering them. I love you Lord, amen.

Answered Prayers

Are you surprised when God reveals himself through an answered prayer? A conversation following church today made me further explore this question personally. It made me wonder, "Why the heck do I pray if I don't actually think that God is listening or will do anything with my prayers?"

I have journals full of answered prayers! Yet, often times I will find myself surprised that God answered one of my prayers whether big or small within current situations. Which leads me to ask myself, "Do I pray with anticipation?" Or am I just throwing prayers out there on a whim? Do I truly believe and have the faith that my God can do anything?

Perhaps it is self doubt, and the thought that my prayers are not worth answering. Whatever the case my eyes have been opened to a change that needs to occur in my life beginning today. When I pray and receive blessings I need to know that my God is big enough. Granted there will be times that God chooses to not interfere with what may be happening in my life or your life, because he might have other plans for us. But prayer should be intentional and persistent, not just something thrown out there on a whim.

Take a moment to reflect on some recent answered prayers, and your reaction to them. Then take a moment to thank him for those answered prayers. Finally, spend some time in some intentional prayer. Trusting and knowing that God will hear it and is fully capable of answering or following through with your requests. Peace be with you and God bless.

James 5:13-16

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

Philippians 4:6

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Colossians 4:2

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

When It Rains

There are days that just seem hopeless and dark. Like the sun will never shine again, and the darkness is coming at you like a large rushing wave. On these days, I feel like the rip tide is pulling me under, and I wonder if I will be able to make it back up for one more breath.

When I am being drug out to sea with the current I'm reminded through scripture to cry out to God. That he will hear my prayers, and surround me with His love.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer & thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts & minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Go in peace today, and know that God will hear your prayers.

Are you prone to being controlled?

Recently, I learned that I am prone to involving myself with controlling personalities, due to my childhood. When you are a child of alcoholic parents you live in a world of uncertainty and instability. Therefore, I find myself drawn to strong personalities that like to run the show. These people tend to have an opinion on everything, quick to tell you how to live your life, blame others for their misfortunes, and will have outbursts of anger.

In a bizarre way I find security in these characteristics, because ultimately I want to be taken care of (or in other words controlled). I didn't have parents that looked out for me, and I view these people/this person as someone that has my best interest in mind. They portray themselves as people that "got your back", but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Controlling personalities use forms of manipulation for their own selfish ambitions. They want you to become fully dependent upon them and ultimately become their pawn. This is not healthy! "Why" you might be wondering? Because the relationship quickly becomes centered around the controlling personality. Before long you are living your life to please this individual, and you often feel like you are walking around on egg shells. You quickly begin to lose yourself and your voice. People pleasers also struggle with controlling relationships, because they find their significance in other's approval.

This concept is still very new and fresh for me, but it has sent me on a path to rediscover what healthy friendships/relationships should look like. I'm guessing that it's going to look like being fully accepted as I am, along with having a voice/opinion. An environment of give and take, but centered around God and love.

Remember, your friends determine your quality of life and you're the one that has allowed them into your life for some reason. Take some time to reevaluate your current relationships. Are they healthy, or based off of control and manipulation? Does this person bring out the best in you? Do they celebrate when you succeed or are they jealous?

Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm not sure where to begin, but to say thank you again. See, I just finished watching the movie, "The Blind Side" with Sandra Bullock in it. The movie reminded me of the sacrifices that you made for me when you took me in, and the countless hours of love that you poured into me. You were my voice when I didn't have one, became my advocate, and brought me up as one of your own.

Words can never express the gratitude and love that I have for you two. God went above and beyond when He answered my prayers for a new family. I know that I didn't become anything great, like the boy in the movie. But I want you to know that I know my life is better today than what it would of been had you not taken me in. Because of you two I know and believe that God hears our prayers and answers them.

I pray that God will give me a heart of compassion and a love for others like He gave to you. So, once again I say thank you for taking in a broken hearted fifteen year old little girl. To you I owe everything. You both mean the world to me, and without you two I would be lost today. I love you mom and dad!

xoxo

Cherish "Tanner"