When It Rains

There are days that just seem hopeless and dark. Like the sun will never shine again, and the darkness is coming at you like a large rushing wave. On these days, I feel like the rip tide is pulling me under, and I wonder if I will be able to make it back up for one more breath.

When I am being drug out to sea with the current I'm reminded through scripture to cry out to God. That he will hear my prayers, and surround me with His love.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer & thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts & minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Go in peace today, and know that God will hear your prayers.

Are you prone to being controlled?

Recently, I learned that I am prone to involving myself with controlling personalities, due to my childhood. When you are a child of alcoholic parents you live in a world of uncertainty and instability. Therefore, I find myself drawn to strong personalities that like to run the show. These people tend to have an opinion on everything, quick to tell you how to live your life, blame others for their misfortunes, and will have outbursts of anger.

In a bizarre way I find security in these characteristics, because ultimately I want to be taken care of (or in other words controlled). I didn't have parents that looked out for me, and I view these people/this person as someone that has my best interest in mind. They portray themselves as people that "got your back", but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Controlling personalities use forms of manipulation for their own selfish ambitions. They want you to become fully dependent upon them and ultimately become their pawn. This is not healthy! "Why" you might be wondering? Because the relationship quickly becomes centered around the controlling personality. Before long you are living your life to please this individual, and you often feel like you are walking around on egg shells. You quickly begin to lose yourself and your voice. People pleasers also struggle with controlling relationships, because they find their significance in other's approval.

This concept is still very new and fresh for me, but it has sent me on a path to rediscover what healthy friendships/relationships should look like. I'm guessing that it's going to look like being fully accepted as I am, along with having a voice/opinion. An environment of give and take, but centered around God and love.

Remember, your friends determine your quality of life and you're the one that has allowed them into your life for some reason. Take some time to reevaluate your current relationships. Are they healthy, or based off of control and manipulation? Does this person bring out the best in you? Do they celebrate when you succeed or are they jealous?