Long story short, a son requests his inheritance from his father before he even passes away, leaves his family and parties the money away with prostitutes etc., ends up broke and eating with pigs, has his "Aha!" moment and realizes he would be living better as one of his father's servants, returns home humbled, father receives son with open arms and throws party, and his brother is ticked off because he thinks it's unfair.
For the first time, I saw how hardened the brother's heart was. Instead of rejoicing that his brother had come to his senses, he focused inward and was hurt the situation. He wanted his brother to see justice for his actions, not a broken heart that would receive forgiveness and a fresh start. I was this brother this week, unfortunately.
My "Aha!" story begins at my daughter's bus stop. I'm sitting on the curb, playing with my phone, and then all of a sudden I hear a woman yelling at some mid-shipmen running by "Boys! Run on your toes like me! You'll run faster!" The weathered looking woman began to demonstrate to them. The mids just laughed and carried on with their run.
While observing all of this I just sighed to myself and shook my head. You see, this obvious homeless woman reminded me of my alcoholic mom, and I was annoyed by her. There was no compassion and no love for this woman within my heart what so ever. Simply, bitterness and annoyance. "I just don't understand how people can even get to this point? Oh, great! She's crossing the street to talk to me now, ug." I thought to myself.
"Excuse me! Do you have seventeen cents that I could have?" she asked as she smoked a cigarette. "Umm, I only have a dime on me." I responded as I dug through my pocket. "Well, I ain't got no way to get my kid's daycare at the social security office by 5:30pm" she stated. I knew where this was going and I was not thrilled about it, especially since it was Valentine's Day. I was in the middle of preparing a large meal for my family to show my love, and I was not in the mood for it to be derailed from it.
"Do you have a car here" she asked? Instantly, the Holy Spirit convicted me and asked me to help this woman out, but my heart was bitter and annoyed at her and at God. Because I know what type of person this woman was, and it was her fault that she was in this situation. Just like my mom.
"Well, I'm waiting on my daughter's school bus, but when they drop her off I could give you a lift. But you're going to have to put out that cigarette, because my special needs daughter has asthma." I replied. "It is as good as gone! I found it on the ground, but I will put it out." said the woman.
Sure enough, she then began to give me her sob story about how she was giving up crack, etc. "Oh, here we go!" I unsympathetically thought to myself. "God, why are you forcing me to deal with this today? You know how difficult it is for me to deal with people with addictions! Thanks a lot." I said to God as I gave myself a pity party.
The bus arrived, and I helped my little girl off of the bus. As we all began to pile into my car, I asked the woman what her name was? She replied, "Isabelle with two l's and an e on the end." I then introduced myself and told her that my daughter had the same name, spelled the same, too. She thanked me for the ride, and began to tell me how unbelievable it was that I was willing to do this.
Isabelle then proceeded to tell me how she recently came to Christ, and that she knew that God put me in her path today. She told me that since she came to know the Lord and began trusting him that she could see how he had been looking out for her. She then told me that if I hadn't given her a ride that she would of had to of prostitute herself out to find the money for a bus ride. But she really didn't want to have to do that, because she knew that God wouldn't like that.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
You would think that at this point I would of been completely humbled, but in the back of my mind I was betting there would be a relapse in her faith and addiction. Just like my mom! My hardened heart listened to the Lord and stopped to buy her some personal care items etc. and I then delivered her to her destination. This event stressed me out the rest of the evening, because I was now running an hour late and I was beginning to have childhood flashbacks.
All of this to say that God finally broke through this hardened heart of mine this morning and humbled me with this parable of the Prodigal Son. In the same way, the Prodigal Son's brother couldn't see past himself and celebrate new life in another human being. I'm sadden to say that I was selfish and judge mental to someone that God put in my path to love. Sure, I went through the motions and listened, but my heart was in the wrong place! Service to God means nothing if you're not able to do it out of love, regardless of the excuses.
So, there you have it! My "Aha!" moment this week. Please pray for me as God breaks down those harden cynical walls that are built up around my heart from my childhood. I have a feeling that God is going to provide my heart with more moments to practice unconditional love. Just when you think that you have you're act together, God reveals the truth about you and your heart.
Luke 15:11-32
New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
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